7/13/06

Today, Jaques Chirac to call for a united approach to global warming at the G8 summit. One suggestion was to give lots of money to France. The French will be less affected by global warming since they are incapable of smelling sweat.

The Vatican condemned Israel for the attacks on Lebanon. The Pope was reminded of what he learned as a boy in Germany: Always blame the Jews.

Syria UN Ambassador told TIME: Hezbollah could attack Israel nuke sites, 'could have radiation spread all over region'. Israel reminded Syria that if they don't watch it, there's going to be radiation all over the region anyway

Police say gays accused of slurs in Provincetown Massachusetts. Apparently they called a tourist "tacky."

Coaches at ACE gymnastics used drywall screws to poke students who weren't showing perfect form. Gosh, did the fact that the school was named after a Hardware Store alert anybody? Like gymnasts haven't been tortured by coaches for years, they're raised like veal.

Superman star had a tantrum after make-up used in a promotional appearance made him look 'wimpy'. After the press conference the "Man of Steel" had a new darker foundation flown in for him. Maybe he should been cast as "Wonder Woman." Nobody can look tough in a satin cape and tights, get over it.
Actually Superman was unique among super heroes cause he never wore a mask. Apparently, people were always so fixated on the bulge in his briefs, that they never got a good look at his face.