5/31/06

Elizabeth Taylor appeared on Larry King to prove to America that she was still alive. Because when sitting next to Larry King, King Tut would appear alive.

Today, Al Gore called the President a "Renegade Right-wing extremist." President Bush responded by declaring himself rubber, and the ex-vice president glue.

A Florida couple offered a cop, posing as a hit man, $100 to kill their Grandkids. Police were alerted when they noticed a bumper sticker on their RV that said: "Ask me about my son's little bastards who deserve to die!"
And where do you find a hit man for hundred bucks? That's cheap. They must have gotten the seniors' discount.

From core samples, geologists have learned that 55 million years ago, the Arctic was tropical. In fact archaeologists have discovered what appears to be an eskimo walrus-skin thong bikini.