Michael McDermott broke into Human Resources Dept. of Edgewater Technology and killed seven employees.  Further investigation found that the IRS was about to garnishee the majority of his paycheck leaving him five hundred dollars a month to live off.
How can anyone reasonably expect a person to live in the Boston area for five hundred dollars a month? Welfare recipients get more than that in Food Stamps.
Now ammo-phobes are using the incident as another opportunity to start an assault against legal gun owners and manufacturers. I personally think the relatives of the victims should file a class action suit against the IRS. If a gun manufacturer can be held responsible, most certainly the IRS is just as liable.

Well they finally admit it-  I've long speculated that the Democratic Party relies on mass stupidity to remain in power, but with the recent election, they have verified it.  The bulk of the argument over disputed ballots was that the ballots filled out incorrectly were cast by stupid people who couldn't figure out the ballot, and would have undoubtedly voted for Al Gore.
Our founders were well aware of the danger of submitting to the will of the masses, and hence, our government is a Republic rather than a Democracy. In fact, some of the original framers only wanted to give property owners the right to vote, assuming that anyone with half a brain can own property in a Free Nation; and anyone with less than half a brain, shouldn't vote.
I have always been a proponent of screening stupidity from the polling booth, and commend Florida for their "confusing" ballots. If I were head of the elections board, I would propose a ballot more like the following: "George Bush, Al Gore, and Harry Browne are on separate trains headed for Washington DC at 50 MPH..."

Monkeys don't kill people... Another oddity from our more civilized European cousins. (According to the September 27 Guardian), suburban youth gangs in Paris suburbs, unable to buy guns, are using attack monkeys. Barbary apes are being imported illegally from Northern Africa. They have sharp teeth and their favored method of attack is to hurl themselves at people's heads. One might also speculate that the monkeies are sold without permits, waiting periods or background checks.

Did anyone else but me really want to see Linda Chavez become head of the Labor Department? What a great concept: She didn't hire an illegal alien as a housekeeper, she just had a friend living with her, to whom she would give money, who helped around the house. What great news for the American Labor Force, no more income withholding. I don't work for Ford, I just hang around the plant during the day, and they give me money.

February 8, 2001

April will bring the anniversary of  Columbine High back to the tv screen.  The word that will be repeated ad nauseam is, "why?" Although I find the event horrific, I never ask the question "Why?" When I learned that Dylan and Eric targeted the jocks during the Columbine massacre, the incident became painfully clear to me. Anybody who doesn't understand it, obviously spent High School on the opposite side of the dodge-ball court as I.

A disgruntled IRS agent jumped the fence of the White House and opened fire. Probably protesting George W. Bush's proposed tax cuts. Secret service agents were surprised, that it wasn't Al Gore. The question of course will be, how did he get the gun. A more reasonable question should be, how did he get the job?  How many more lunatics are there still working for the IRS, sifting through our personal records, just ready to snap at a moment's notice?

The FDA recently gave permission to the Prune Association allowing them to call their product, "Dried Plums," (which is what they are.) I don't quite understand that, isn't there a first amendment? We need permission now to call things by their rightful name? I hate to tell the FDA, but my grandmother calls whiskey, "her breakfast."
Meanwhile, prune juice will have to retain it's name, as the FDA feels that "Dried Plum Juice," sounds like a contradiction. Great, now we have a department of oxymorons. Next thing you know, we won't be able to say, "Government Assistance."

 California, is about to run out of electricity, and I think it's hilarious.. There are more goofy renewable energy schemes in California than anywhere else on earth. They have more; windmills, solar cells, hydro-electric plants, geo-thermal, tide powered and any other ridiculous thing you can think of to generate a tax subsidy, than anywhere else on earth.  And look what happened.
People in government get the notion that if something is legislated, it will just appear. When CAFE restrictions were put onto auto makers, congress never worried whether it was possible to create a 100mpg car, they just assumed that if it law, someone would invent it. Meanwhile over 50 % of Americans are driving trucks as a way to avoid those beer cans the auto industry calls passenger cars.
I'll bet this will shut the environmentalists up for a while though. Things like Al Gore's two dollar a gallon gas tax sound great until people start having to live with them. I bet this whole power thing puts the Kibosh on  Electric Cars for a while.
I'm so glad there's a state like California. They kind of act like a big petri dish for the rest of the Nation. Every time there's a stupid idea out there, they try it out first so the rest of us can be mercifully spared from it.

Bill and Hillary are getting the business for the way they behaved upon leaving the White House.  Turns out they took about 190 thousand dollars of furniture and various house wares from the White House, and cleaned everything off of Air Force one, right down to the toothpaste.  I don't know why this surprises anyone.  They both have been government workers their entire lives, and government workers have a reputation for being the kind of people who never tip, and always snag the towels out of the hotel rooms.

 I'm a Libertarian, but I can't help but think the right choice was made between Bush and Gore. Bush celebrated Roe v Wade Day by banning US funding of foreign abortions. What a wonderfully arrogant move. Just signal right up front, "By the way, I'm not going to pander to all you lefties." I don't care how you feel about abortion, you've got to be opposed to an American Catholic being taxed, so someone in another country can get an abortion. And if you're not, you're getting a tax cut real soon, just take that rebate, and send it directly to Planned Parenthood of Sudan.
I think all  extra-constitutional government should be run like PBS.  Keep withholding, but get rid of the IRS. That way, each American could decide for himself exactly how much he wants to pay. On April 15 you can send you're return in with a description of how you want your money apportioned. A socialist might want all his taxes going for housing and health care.  A Republican might want his to go to the boys overseas. Me, I'd just say I want it all back. And if a government program gets underfunded bureaucrats will have to go on the air and beg. Imagine the efficiency of a government that responds to market forces.
 

March 10, 2001

At a recent NAACP Black Entertainer awards, Former President Clinton reiterated the "First Black President remark." Although I'm pretty sure he was being facetious, the remark has been taken seriously enough in some circles for me to make a comment or two.
I don't understand why Black Americans wouldn't take umbrage to such a remark. On the surface, Bill Clinton seems to be a Southern White Cracker Democrat,  the same kind that would have probably been sitting on Schoolhouse steps right alongside George Wallace. So it must be something else, but what?
His most famous acts as President were cheating on his wife, defending himself against charges of sexual harassment and rape, but I don't think the NAACP thinks that kind of activity would make him appear black.
His Saxophone skills were downright Caucasian, and his lavish lifestyle with State Dinners, Limousines, and a private 747 seem similar to only the top 1% of the Black community. According to testimony by both Paula Jones and Monica Lewinsky, the other myth doesn't apply either.
That only leaves the  derogatory, the fact that he lived in public housing, held only government jobs, was a crummy tipper and walked out of the White House with everything that wasn't nailed down.

So it seems Bill Clinton pardoned Mark Rich for a cool two mil. For the sake of the Libertarian Party, I certainly hope he avoids prosecution. What a great campaign tactic for 2004, Pardons for sale! For the cost of just $1000,  I promise to pardon your loved one once I'm in office. It's wrong that pardons can only be bought by the rich, I promise to make presidential pardons available to every non-violent criminal whose family can come up with a grand.  With a million drug criminals imprisoned, I could potentially raise a billion dollars, and still stay within FEC contribution limits.

Governor Davis saved you from the power companies. A friend once said to tame  a bird, just throw it into a bathtub full of water, and then when you rescue it, the bird will be so grateful that you saved his life, that he'll be your friend forever. I don't believe it's true, and I'm sure that if the bird is smart enough to know you saved it, isn't he smart enough to figure out who threw him in? I look at how the California power situation was caused by the same people who are credited with it's salvation, and think to myself, "Maybe not."

I don't thing the faith-based initiatives will pass constitutional muster.  Already the Moonies and Scientologists are applying for grants, which Bush will deny. How much more literally can you violate the establishment clause?

April 4, 2001

With release of the '00 census, comes a cry from the Left to statistically add a percentage of persons that were not counted, but are known to exist. I personally feel that an extension of the right to not vote, includes the right to be left uncounted. The only Constitutional reason for counting people is to apportion legislators. If an individual does not want to be represented in Congress, such is his right.
Even more of a point in the issue: how does anybody really know these people exist if they were never counted? In Chicago, the standard joke is that November is the time when the dead rise from the grave, and go to the polls. These Democratic Ghosts are being accepted more widely than ever before, and a lot of policy is written with these non-persons in mind. I'm sure these are the same specters that wanted to vote for Gore, but couldn't figure out the butterfly ballot, collect welfare but want to work, and are homeless through no fault of their own.

As the Napster© debate winds down, the music industry rushes to fill the void, and bring record sales into the 21st century. Wouldn't it be delicious if they used the Napster© Software to run their sites without permission, and forced Napster© back into the courts to claim their intellectual property?

There is a dispute whether Russia has a right to sell passage to the International Space Station for 20 million dollars. The final frontier of capitalism is being stolen from the United States by a space program, formerly known as Communist. If there is a better way to finance space exploration than with tourist dollars, I haven't heard about it.
NASA and the other member nations are refusing to allow Dennis Tito to travel to the Space station, even though the Russians have no problem with it. As always they are claiming it is a safety issue, but I think the issue is capitalism. Space is owned by government agencies, and it shouldn't be for sale. However, this rule didn't seem to apply a couple years ago, when a ride on the shuttle was traded to Senator John Glen for his support during the President's impeachment trial.

It seems that every time I get into a heated debate with a leftist, they eventually come around to accusing me of holding Nazi sympathies. I grow so weary of being called a Nazi. In their tiny brains it seems logical, that if you oppose Communism, then you are a Nazi. They don't seem to remember that Nazi is a contraction for the National Socialist Party of Germany.  Commies and Nazis both love big government.  They agreed on so many issues, I don't know why they ever fought. Their feelings were exceptionally parallel on what to do about rich Jewish businessmen and their property.

As the calendar rolled around to "Black History Month," the notion of reparations for slavery once again surfaced. I think it's going to be pretty damn hard to convince the rest of America, the majority of whose ancestors didn't even arrive on these shores until after the Civil War, they owe Black Americans money.  We might as well just make the payments directly to the Jewish community, because after that suit is over, the Jews are probably going to sue the Blacks for reparations from their enslavement in Egypt four thousand years ago.
We are a nation of former slaves. Almost everyone in this country is here because our ancestors fled serfdom at some level under one of the world's many tyrannies. In fact, a lot of early Americans voluntarily submitted to indentured servitude to pay their passage over here. Slavery was a small price to pay, so their children could "breath free." Many residents of war torn Africa now wish their ancestors had been slaves, so they could be living here, an ocean away from the famine, poverty, and violence that is the Motherland.
Regardless of whether reparations are a good idea or not, I offer the following rough estimate of amount due: I've seen estimates that the going rate for labor, multiplied by an approximate amount of slave/hours, adjusted for inflation, and 200 years of interest would come to around 1.7 trillion dollars.
We have spent 3.4 trillion dollars on the "War on Poverty" over the past thirty years, and roughly 50% of all welfare recipients are black.  That comes to 1.7 trillion dollars.  Paid in full.
Now if we can figure a way to get the "labor due" out of the white welfare recipients...
 

May 11, 2001

On April 28, 2001;  a Russian rocket launched the first Space Tourist, into orbit. Although the media is underplaying the significance of the event, my heart soars as the frontier of space has been opened for the first time to all of mankind. The face of Dennis Tito, wearing a 20 million dollar grin, as he floated into the International Space Station, somehow made me feel closer to Space than I have ever felt before. Back in 1968, a boy sat in a darkened theater mesmerized by Stanley Kubrick's 2001 and has dreamed of this day for over three decades.
Many of the promises made by that film were over expectant. The movie promised Pan Am flights to the moon by 1999, and Pan Am even made advance reservations. (I don't know if the reservations were transferred to a competing airline when Pan Am went out of business 23 years later.)
Last year, I lamented that the new millennium was arriving without any of the promises of the movie being realized. I guess Kubrick assumed, since TWA was capable of providing passenger service 27 years after the first flight of the Wright Brothers, and commercial trans-Atlantic flights 19 years after Lindbergh, passenger service should be within thirty years of the first moon landing. Kubrick obviously greatly underestimated the ability of government agencies to stifle innovation.
And thanks to Russian desperation, the moment is finally here, that anyone with sufficient resources can  travel out into the universe. Now all I have to do is find 20 million.

 I used to be a black helicopter freak, and had major concerns about the United States being taken over by the UN. I still believe that we should remain ever vigilant over our sovereignty, and there have been many questionable incidents over the last eight years. None the less, I couldn't help being a little amused when Congress voted to withhold another $244 million from our UN dues, pending our seat on the Human Rights committee being restored. That brings our total delinquency to $744 billion. Once again the UN is furious and yet, are powerless to do anything more than wag their fingers, and whine about us not paying our fair share. How much do you want to bet that we get that seat back?
Taken over by the UN? No, we own them.

It occurs to me that in the midst of the California energy crisis, we are ignoring a resource that is not only untapped, it is more prevalent there than anywhere else on the planet. Of course, I'm talking about hippies.
If we could harness the power of hippies, it could provide electricity for years to come as the UC system churns out thousands of the dirty little scoundrels every year. It is therefore 100% renewable. We could build vast warehouses filed with stationary bikes, hooked up to generators. Rather than letting the kids travel the continent protesting WTO meetings, and breaking windows; we would force them into spending their rambunctious youths pumping air conditioners across the California desert.
Seeing as hippies eat nothing but beans, methane would be produced as a byproduct. Their noxious fumes, normally wasted filling coffeehouses with additional "atmosphere," could be pumped from the generating facilities, and diverted into water heaters and outdoor grills.
We could position pinwheels in front of their mouths, and show them pictures of trees being cut down, or George W. Bush; so when they started off on their, "Raping Mother Earth" rants; we could produce additional wind power.
Since they  subscribe to the Marxist notion of "from each according to their abilities," there should be no question whether anyone has a right to make them pedal their youths away. They could even take a little solace in the knowledge that their generators are attached to batteries of electric SUVs, and their energies might be helping a single mother drive her children to a public school. They will revel in  the glory of helping provide emission free energy to the State. Ten years later, when we will release the hippies back into the wild; they will be more mature, in terrific shape, and have a much better understanding of why labor is personal property.
 

June 8, 2001

I've noticed a recent trend. Lately, women in the acting profession are asking to be referred to as "actors" rather than the gender specific term "actresses." Strange however that the same politically correct  tag never applies when the award shows roll around. I have never seen a feminist refuse her Academy Award Nomination because it was for Best Actress.
So many of today's celebrities are politically active and demand equal treatment for women, but the when the awards come out, separate IS equal.
It should be obvious why there are not a lot of libertarians in Hollywood. Our belief is, that money is sufficient reward. If I were earning 10 million dollars per picture, I would most certainly consider that adequate compensation for services performed. Such behavior only underlines the insecurity of the performing class, that they need a special prize beyond the financial. Just like children want to see a gold star stuck to their book report, adults who earn their living playing make-believe, want one on Hollywood Boulevard.
Equal pay is always a banner for the feminists in Hollywood to organize underneath. In the motion picture business however,  your worth is in direct proportion to what the public wants to see. Cindy Crawford makes more money annually than all male models combined, but nobody seems to think that is sexism. How many men complain about the glass ceiling in the modeling industry? You would think people so affected by supply and demand, would understand a little more about economics.  Jennifer Lopez can demand five million per movie because the supply of Jennifer Lopez is limited to exactly one. On the other hand, Madonna has to take what she can get, because the demand for another awful Madonna picture is extremely low.
 
 

July 9, 2001

Well, it looks as though the progressive politics of Seattle might force another longtime member of the business community to relocate. The Seattle Times, doing business since 1896, is leaving the Emerald City. I might suggest that the Times could follow Boeing, and find a more friendly atmosphere here in Chicago. We could use a real newspaper.
I wonder aloud how many more businesses will follow suit before Seattle residents understand the destructive antibusiness nature of the environmental movement. The flight from the City is probably the largest since the recession of the seventies. This time however, there will be no need for the last person out of Seattle to turn off the lights, the environmentalists will have done that for them, long before the last moving van leaves.

 A promo for a new ABC television drama "The Beast" advertises an episode where a hard nosed supermodel television reporter boldly proclaims. "I think that if 73% of America are in favor of something, they should be able to look at what they're in favor of." Meanwhile there is video footage of a criminal being strapped into an electric chair. "You want the death penalty America," she threatens tearfully? "Well here it is!" A video camera swings around as the cap is being lowered onto the convict's bald head. I couldn't help but wonder if this fictional journalist would be so enthusiastic about making her television audience watch the very popular medical procedure called abortion.
The fact that something is hard to look at has no bearing on it's morality, but sometimes zealots convince themselves otherwise. Pro life advocates love to show people pictures of dismembered fetuses, but in truth, close-up photos of childbirth are just as hard to view. Not many people outside of the medical profession can watch a Cesarean birth. The Learning Channel regularly shows documentaries from emergency rooms that I simply can't bear to look at, even though they are of wonderful lifesaving procedures. This is nothing new, I assume everyone is already familiar with the adage about laws and sausages.

 John Stossel raised the hackles of environmentalists once again by quizzing school children on what they learned about environmentalism in school. He was accused of exploiting children. What a strange case of doublethink, that a person reporting bad teaching, is more evil than the actual teachers.
It is an ironic twist of circumstance, considering how environmentalists often cite children as the need for saving the planet, and have exploited them for years. Throughout the Clinton Administration we consistently heard the excuse "For the Children" as need for additional incursions on our Liberty.

Like most Libertarians, I was pretty miffed with the Supreme Court decision on medical marijuana. In retrospect, I am more miffed at the people who argued the case. It should have been a Tenth Amendment issue, and indeed, both Justices Thomas and Stevens mentioned the outstanding issue of State rights in their concurring opinions.
The decision also gave Congress the sole power to determine the medical necessity of a substance, which that makes me a little uncomfortable, but it's not like they haven't been exercising that power for quite some time.
We should all be grateful that a right to medicine was not recognized by the high court.  A different decision would have allowed breaking laws for the sake of the sick. Pharmaceutical corporations might have seen their patents evaporate, as "medical necessity," negated their legal protections. Could drugstores been held at gun point as long as the bandits had ailments? An extreme ADA case might even have allowed alcoholics to steal booze. Ultimately, it would have been a horrible giant step towards a hostile government takeover of the health care industry.

University of Connecticut scientists are working on cloning an allergy free cat, and for the first time in the history of genetic engineering, I must protest. Even though the technology excites me, and I regularly mock the ludites and technophobes who oppose genetic manipulation, I have finally found a good reason to ban the research.
If science can grow a feline that won't make me itch and sneeze, I might have to admit that I just really don't like cats. For years, I have hidden my hatred under a health condition, and I've often used allergies as an excuse to make girlfriends lock cats outside or in another room while I was visiting. In extreme cases, it was a convenient reason for never visiting at all. I now join the multitudes opposed to genetic studies, and petition for expurgation of this wicked craft.

Numerous studies done since the Florida voting controversy are reporting that the poor populations America have a much better chance of seeing their votes voided than the rest of the general population. As a Libertarian, I can certainly emphasize. I think no demographic has seen their votes voided more consistently than ours. We've been watching the welfare state grow in size and scope for years, despite our futile attempts to vote against it. Come to think of it, I don't know what the poor are griping about.

Thanks to drastic budget cuts, NASA is reevaluating their contributions to the International Space Station. The budget of 14.3 billion will only grow to 14.5 billion in 2002, and by 2006 these shortfalls will accumulate to a whopping 484 million dollars. Because of these Spartan restrictions, space station crews will be limited to three, rather than the six or seven passengers originally scheduled. What a great opportunity to start a US space tourism program. If you allowed the seventh spot in the crew to be taken by a rotating tourist, and charged the going rate of twenty-million for a two week trip, you could recoup the shortfall in just under a year.
 

August 10, 2001

According to an article in the London Times, George and Laura Bush refused to bow or curtsy when they met with the Queen. It's amazing how seriously British citizens treat the House of Windsor, considering their role in politics has been downgraded to the level of mascot. While the British media expect  readers to be shocked at such insubordination by the Bushes, all I can say is, "Good for them." I know that royalty got accustomed to the Clintons slobbering all over them; but two hundred and twenty five years ago, a lot of good men gave their lives so that we could face the royal family without ever averting our eyes. Most remarkable was first daughter Barbara, who joined the trip at the last minute (probably when she heard about the lower drinking age in the UK) and showed up at the palace in a denim jacket (according to the same article). That's the kind of foreign relations I like to see, a president that doesn't pay royalty any more respect than that warranted for an audience with Mickey Mouse and Goofy, on a diplomatic junket to Disneyland.

It seemed that the European Union had barely stopped crowing over their July 4th block of the GE/Honeywell merger before they noticed the subsequent fall of their beloved Euro. (Incidentally, the Euro is intended to replace Europe's original common currency, known as the US Dollar.) On July 5th, the day after the little EU power play, it fell below 84¢ and flirted with the all time low of 82¢.

Bankrupt Senator Maria Cantwell, recently warned an audience of fawning reporters that allowing social security to be privatized could have dire consequences for Americans. This is deliciously ironic in view of Ms. Cantwell's investment strategies. For those who might have forgotten the story: Senator Cantwell had a disproportionate amount of Internet stocks in her portfolio against which she borrowed ten million real dollars needed to finance a campaign. When the bubble burst, she was left worse than penniless as her collateral had evaporated. Her paltry $250K Senate salary was incapable of even paying the interest on the debts incurred in acquiring said salary.
Throughout the Social Security debate, senators and representatives tell us that only they are wise enough to manage our retirement funds in the biggest Ponzi scheme of all time. It is refreshing during this standard rhetoric of "government knows best" to finally hear someone admit that we cannot be trusted with our own money, because we are probably just as stupid as Maria Cantwell.

Once again, the government has moved in to protect us from "fake psychics." Access Resource Services, home of Miss Cleo, defendant in a last year's suit by the Florida Attorney General, and employer of psychics bound by a state mandated "vow of clairvoyance"; finds itself embroiled in a suit from the Missouri Attorney General.
They have been accused of overbilling clients. In my opinion, charging anything for a "Psychic Reading" is tantamount to overbilling, but I believe the market should have the last word. If Miss Cleo has been charging too much for advice, you have the freedom to find another source. There is never a scarcity of people willing to give you a piece of their mind, most of them charge little or nothing.
According to the Attorney General, charges from Miss Cleo were even showing up on the phone bills of deceased clients. I would suggest that perhaps there is a tradition by surviving family members of getting free long distance calls in that short window between death and having the phone turned off, but perhaps I'm wrong. It is quite likely that dead people have to contact the spirit world to make reservations.

As we approach the 60th anniversary of the American involvement into the Second World War, I think we should all remind ourselves what that war was really about: Differing opinions on which 19th Century theorist that Socialism should be based. England, France, and Russia ascribed to Marxist Socialism, while Germany, Italy, and Japan preferred the brand inspired by Charles Darwin.
An interesting footnote to the debate: Socialists graduating out of colleges today admire both authors greatly. In fact, I would suggest that Das Kapital and Origin of Species are just about the only books, written by white European males, familiar to today's graduates.

Los Angeles has officially staked a claim on its assumption as being the center of the Universe. We had always suspected LA residents felt that way, but now there is proof. Los Angeles County tax assessor Rick Auerbach has laid the legal groundwork to tax outer space. Because Hughes aircraft owns eight satellites and also is based in El Segundo, Los Angeles County feels that property taxes should be assessed on them; even though they are stationed 22,300 miles above the Equator.
Just as forensics scientists can pinpoint the time of death of a victim by the development of maggots on the decomposing corpse, I think you can chart the development of a frontier by noticing when the Tax Assessors show up.

According to an AP article, "A plane owned by a company that offers couples the chance to see Key West from the air - and have sex while doing so - crashed after a couple tried to hijack it to Cuba, the pilot said."
What is most amazing to me, is not that someone would want to go to Cuba, or that there were still people trying the old hijack routine, but that there was actually a service offering this kind of charter. A quick internet search under "Mile High Club" assured me that such an agency is by no means unique. What a testament to the Invisible Hand, that whenever there is a demand for any product or service, a supply will always arise, no matter how bizarre or peculiar.

The trouble with the Second Amendment is, that traditional weapons kill people. Modern media brings the horror of war right into our living rooms, and public sentiment always goes to those injured. Timothy McVeigh would have found a more sympathetic jury of public opinion had no one been killed. Had he targeted the building where tax returns were stored, and destroyed it without a single casualty, he would be a national hero.
According to the September 2001 Popular Mechanics, an Electromagnetic Pulse Bomb can be built with 1940s technology for under $400. This would be a weapon that destroys electronics and magnetically recorded information while limiting injuries to humans and buildings. With face scanning technology the new rage of law enforcement, cameras going up on every street corner, doctors required to submit medical information into a national database, and various Federal law enforcement agencies watching every eMail on the Internet; I would suggest that the security of a free state requires a Patriot's Manhattan Project focused on building up a private EMP arsenal.
 

September 12, 2001

A little light this month, but I'm kinda weak from yesterday.

During the Stem Cell Research debate, a point reiterated, was that the embryos used were already marked for disposal. Most leftists feel it is better to continue research than to fill a medical waste dumpster.
A few years ago, Peg Bargon from Monticello Illinois, gave Hillary Clinton a dream catcher made from eagle feathers she had found on the ground at the zoo. Unbeknownst to her, citizens are forbidden from touching dead wild birds or feathers. Hillary passed the dream catcher on to the US Fish and Wildlife Service, who proceeded to set up a sting operation, and busted Bargon when she sold dead blue jay feathers to an undercover agent at a mall craft fair.
Strange that the same people who support the medical use of embryonic cells, also maintain that there must be an embargo on products made from migratory birds. Although I support the use of stem cell science, I find this situation a great measurement of the respect for humanity held by leftists. The DNA of a blue jay more is sacred than that of a human being.

Well, the West Nile virus has finally made it to the Chicago area. The virus was first discovered in Uganda in 1938, and has been gradually edging its way here ever since. I'm preparing for the onslaught of environmentalists linking the disease to global warming.
Is it possible, that the mosquito borne virus found a more friendly environment in the United States thanks to "wetland" restoration and the banning of DDT? There was good reason to drain swamps and kill mosquitoes, but after over a century of prosperity, a lot of people have forgotten, and become complacent. It should be apparent to most thinking individuals that the environmentalist desire to return America to third world nirvana, will  bring her wonderful diseases right along with it.

Less than six months after caving to Republican whimsy, and passing a minuscule tax cut; House Democrats are seeking an overhaul of the budget to remove the cut. Meanwhile, there is no wave of public outcry and many Americans seem eager for a repeal. You can see from this, that totally eliminating income tax in this county would be a far more rigorous battle than most Libertarians ever imagine.

Because of a backlog, employees at an IRS processing center hid thousands of tax returns. What a great idea! We should start a campaign to literally bury the IRS under a stack of paperwork. Most taxpayers can get away filing just the EZ form, but why not encourage EVERYONE to file the long form? And include schedules A &B, even if all the lines are zeroes. I don't think there's a law against insuring that your filing is thorough.
Imagine the tedium of having to go through all those forms line by line. We could make the job of being an IRS auditor so unpleasant, that nobody would want it, and under staffing would compound the problem even further. Meanwhile, there wouldn't be the ambition nor manpower to conduct audits. You can defeat a beast larger than you, if you encourage it to start eating its own tail.

According to the 2000 census, there are 96.2 men for every 100 women, and although the population of men has increased since 1980, men are still the minority. Feminists will argue that women still deserve minority protections because men hold a monopoly on power. I respectfully disagree, and I'm quite sure a majority of my married compatriots think likewise. And on a political scale, I believe that the White Heterosexual English speaking male, which constitutes less than 20% of the US population (and over 80% of the Libertarian Party) is probably the weakest minority in America.

In the aftermath of the September 11 terrorist attacks, many Americans will find it frustrating, that the largest military force on earth was powerless against eight box cutting knives, and a cause so great, that people were willing to die for it
 

October 13, 2001

It's a wonder the Statue of Liberty was not a target on September 11. Not only does it stand for everything the terrorists oppose, she isn't wearing a veil and is holding a book.

The Taliban is threatening to start opium sales again to finance their war with the United States, and I believe it's time for desperate measures. We can ruin them financially if we legalize opium in the United States. So many sources for the substance would appear that it would be as cheap as pet food. There are only sufficient resources to fight a war on one front anyway, so calling a truce in the War on Drugs would be a sensible solution.
A second benefit would be that Mafia would be put out of the heroin business, and in turn, would be so furious with bin Laden they would probably have him whacked just out of spite. I can think of no organization more capable of performing the job, quickly, cleanly, and without a trace of evidence. Anyone for Osama bin Sausage?

Terrorism is an incredibly tricky enemy as any Viet Nam veteran will tell you. But the United States is begging for some form of retaliation, and I think it's time to call up the Militia. First we need a financier, independent of the United States government. Osama bin Laden has an estimated worth of three hundred million, which is chump change compared to some of the money scooting around the US.
We then find ourselves a handful of rednecks; I'm sure one of the Militia organizations would be more than happy to help us recruit a couple. Rather than Paul Revere riding through New England crying "To Arms!" we could just stand in the center of Butte Montana hollering,  "Who wants to go mess up some towel heads?" We then load up some Cessenas with Jack Daniels, diesel and ammonium nitrate, and let the good ol' boys fly them straight into Mecca.
When the Islam world protests, George Bush can apologize for the tragedy, and will offer the resources of the United States government to find this rogue terrorist organization operating within our own borders. We have been the victim of these same terrorists ourselves at Oklahoma City. We will even be more than happy to extradite their leader, provided we have sufficient conclusive evidence he is linked to the attack, and he will be released only into the custody of a Western Nation.

I think we have to muster up all resources in fighting the threat of  terrorism, and what better way to enlist the lunatics of the United States. You want to talk suicide bombers? We've got kids right here that want to kill themselves, just look outside any tattoo or piercing parlor. The question is: Do we have the courage to use the resources right in front of us? We won't have to lure the kids with stories of 72 virgins on the other side, just promise to publish their awful poetry, and do specials about them on MTV after they're gone. Why risk another Columbine tragedy by forcing these kids back to school where they are outcasts, lets recruit them into special operations, and give their lives higher purpose.

Another clever solution would be to set up Terrorist traps to get the cells out of hiding here in the US. What better way to root out the bad guys than to hold much a publicized, NEA funded, gallery show with brilliant works of art like: "Allah is Crap" a lifelike portrait of god depicted in camel dung. Or how about: "Holy Piss" a 1/1000 replica of the Great Mosque entirely submerged in urine.We then station a Delta Force unit in the gallery disguised as art patrons with complete with pony tails and Uzis in PBS tote bags. When the fatwa is called the terrorist cells will pop up and let the show begin.

The political correctness entrenched in the United States is hindering our War on Terror. All the additional security at the airports could be eliminated if Flight Attendants just gave the following speech at the conclusion of their FAA mandated safety presentation:
"We here at Universal Airlines would like to offer a very special upgrade for several of our best customers today. Rather than being cramped down in coach, were going to let you come up here into First Class and enjoy the flight in a big comfortable leather seat enjoying complimentary champagne on our trip across the country. Y'all can take advantage of this as long as you meet the following conditions: Number One, this offer is only available to men of middle eastern descent. Now I saw you all boarding, I know there's a couple of you back there. Number Two, if you're going to sit up here, you're going to have to be wearing handcuffs in exchange for your free upgrade. Number Three, it's mandatory. Cause if y'all don't want to sit up here while a pretty little stewardess locks you in hand cuffs, you're either crazy, or a terrorist, and I want you off my plane right now. Have a Nice Day!"
 

November 11, 2001

There is a fear in this country today that we are walking alongside evil people that want to destroy the American way of life, even though they live here. These are treacherous people who want to reduce the most prosperous nation in any history or geography to a Third World Theocracy. They would prefer we were ruled by tyrannical mystics who speak directly with God, and desire the right to intervene into every aspect of our lives. They want to tell us what to eat, what to wear, how often we can bathe, and restrict free travel; in short they would like to see the entire world return to the technology and governance of the middle ages. Of course we all know who these people are, they are the Environmentalists.

The thought of bin Laden having suitcase nukes is frightening, until you remind yourself that these weapons are Soviet  built. Not only are they probably unreliable, there is a pretty good chance they were already detonated. I am willing to speculate that the plane hijacking was Plan B, resorted to only after all their suitcase nukes failed to go off.

The influence of celebrities upon politics cannot be understated enough. Programs like "Rock the Vote" actually had an impact on electing Bill Clinton. Even though most rock stars are not even registered to vote, kids listen to them for political advice. A great majority of the Libertarian Party is still waiting for the Messiah that will lead them into the Political mainstream.
I say, Why be satisfied with just one celebrity, when we can have all of Hollywood? A lot of celebrities are in the upper one percent income tax bracket. They should all be embracing Republican Tax Cuts, however, the GOP record on civil liberties and censorship will distance them forever. The Hollywood attitude (at least privately) is almost 100% in agreement with our policy on the drug war, and don't even get me started on sexual liberties or military interventionism. Unfortunately, most of the Industry has embraced Teddy Kennedy Liberalism, where wealth is tolerated,  as long as you "care" about people who have less than you.
I think we have to  convince Republicans to make Hollywood a target. (Don't ask me how, I haven't a clue. I'm only half serious anyway.) We could start a movement within the Republican Party to tax celebrities for their inordinate wealth. Their motivation, of course, would be pure, unadulterated, vengeance for the way Hollywood treats the Right.
Try for instance, a neighborhood rebate tax, a highly targeted tax put upon Americans who gain their wealth from ticket sales, television ratings, or commercial endorsements, and earn more than one million dollars per year. The purpose of the tax is to return revenues to the neighborhoods the celebrities left behind. The poor in America will certainly like the idea, after all, why should Oprah be so wealthy when it is the average stay-at-home mother who put her where she is today? It would be extremely difficult for a celebrity to oppose such a tax publicly, especially if they've been aligning themselves with Santa Claus Democrats.
I think such an underhanded guerrilla war is consistent within Libertarian dogma, since the other side has had little nice to say about us. Therefore, such an attack described would be a response, rather than an initiation of force.
The celebrities will soon realize how vulnerable they really are. The fragility of minority rights, especially when that minority is defined by personal wealth, will become startlingly apparent The evil political monster called envy will chase them into our party in droves, dragging their status, resources, and fundraising ability.
 Lets just make sure when they get here, that we're an inviting place. If we really go after the celebrities, we have to look a little less like a comic book convention. Hollywood is a lot like high school, if the only seat left in the cafeteria is at the dork table, a cool kid will eat standing up.
 

December 7, 2001

I don't understand why anyone would ever look for the government for food and shelter. There are only three kinds of animals on earth who don't take care of themselves, pets, slaves and livestock; I don't want to be kept nor owned, and I most certainly don't want to be eaten.

The swift and severe response of the United States Military in Afghanistan should serve as a reminder to all Libertarians. Thanks to modern military technology, the dream of a citizen militia overthrowing the US in a guerrilla war like Viet Nam or the American Revolution, is now less than futile. Secondly, more than ever, we must be extremely vigilant in keeping the Federal Government within the founders well drawn limits. Unfortunately, we will never be able to keep the monster entirely within its Constitutional cage, but we must never surrender. The potential for evil is so great that the need for continuing the fight is overwhelming.

There is very little more annoying than a telemarketing call.  Here at Headquarters, I eagerly anticipate every ring of the phone as it usually signals the arrival of a new gig onto the calendar. It is always dreadfully disappointing when the person on the other end of the phone starts trying to sell me something; especially since the call was not income related, and I now have diminished ability to purchase anything. Many attempts to quiet the calls, through legislation and technology have been tested nationwide, but the aggressive telemarketing industry always finds a way around the blocks.
The reality is, that companies who use phone banks generate more in sales than it costs to keep them staffed. If we want to stop telemarketing, we have to shift the balance in two areas: Decrease the sales, and raise their payroll costs. The first is easy. If we all agree to simply stop buying goods and services marketed in this fashion, the profit incentive will disappear. The second front of assault is payroll. If we can conspire to make the job of a telemarketer so unpleasant, companies will have to raise wages to retain employees beyond the cost effective range. It is therefore our sworn duty to make these phone calls as unpleasant as possible. Forget that we live in a civil society, and stop being nice. After all, they initiated the call.
One interesting way to annoy the telemarketers is to try and turn the tables on them, and try to sell them back. I've found Libertarianism to be a very effective way of distancing friends and neighbors, why wouldn't it work on total strangers? Next time somebody rings your line to ask you if you know how much you can save on your long distance calls, ask them if they know, there is no Constitutional basis for having to file an income tax form. Keep them on the phone listening to a litany of market based solutions for an hour or so.
If you get a telemarketing call, ask them exactly what they did to deserve such a crummy job. Kids before marriage? Didn't take school seriously? Drugs? I understand that a lot of telemarketing companies are going into prisons for the cheap labor available there. It's kind of ironic that the same politicians who promise us legislation to protect us from telemarketers, are profiting by using the penal system to make the same calls they rally against. This opens up a wonderful opportunity for us to perform outreach. We all imagine ourselves as revolutionaries and rebels, but the truth is, most of us are law abiding geeks. Few of us will ever spend any time in prisons for fear of becoming chickens. If you find that the salesperson is calling you from prison, you have an excellent opportunity to talk to one of the million or so incarcerated drug criminals that should be in the Libertarian Party. Don't let the Democrats be the  sole benefactors from the criminal demographic. Granted, if they are felons, they probably can't vote; but you can tell them that if Harry Browne had been elected that they would have been paroled by now, and selling MCI from outside.Your captive audience might encourage his friend and family to join us.